i'm dying of dysentery

which is why i spent saturday night cold and alone, lying on my bathroom floor. from 4 am til sometime around 9ish, i threw up 7 times. strangely, it wasn't as fun as you would think. after the first time, the bouts with vomiting consisted of mainly dry heaves for 10 minutes. and then i would feel fine for about 40 minutes, when the old vomit train would visit me again. after the third time i had to run out of bed to the bathroom, i decided that it would just be easier to sleep in the bathroom. therefore the cold and alone part. i was kind of upset at the whole thing. see, i got whatever this is from my brother, but when he had it last week, he did his throwing up in the bathroom upstairs, so my mom heard him and took care of him. i didn't have that luxury, being two floors away. so i suffered by myself. plus, he only threw up like twice the whole time. bastard. i threw up more this morning than i have in like the past 10 years combined. anyway, i've spent the whole day lying in front of a fire, sipping 7-up, trying not to die. it's tough, but i think i'm going to make it. and, silver lining, at least now i should be over this by the time i go out to visit jaya.

another addiction?

so i just joined this website, xuqa.com. it seems like it's just another facebook, but stacey invited me and i was bored, so what the hell. in other news, it's 2 pm, and i'm just getting up after something like 10 hours of sleep. i guess i needed it after three straight nights spent passed out on jim's couch. excessive? perhaps. fun? extremely. though i think i'll give it a month or two before i go on my next three day bender. and besides, i managed to work over 15 hours over those three days, so it's not all bad. anyway, about that xuqa thing, apparently someone already has a crush on me, but it won't tell me who, which annoys me greatly. how am i supposed to laugh at them if i don't know who they are?

i don't wanna grow up

the other day i was working at the theater, mainly just hanging out in the concessions stand cuz it was dead. anyway, three guys came in, probably 14 or 15, one of them had a skateboard, all of them were dressed kind of punkish, or at least as much as is possible in loveland, colorado. they came in and were just sort of hanging out, waiting for a movie to start. as i had nothing better to do, i watched them, and then, being the good redshirt i was, i went up to door to make sure that david, the greenshirt that was working that position, knew about the kids, and made sure that they didn't bring in the skateboard, or try to sneak into a movie or something. and then i just stopped, and realized what i was doing. i mean, it was only a couple years that i would have been the one sneaking in food, or switching theaters with my friends, all in good fun. i would have been cursing out the nazi workers for picking on us innocent teenagers just because we were teenagers, and vow that i'd never do that. and now i am that nazi. i'm the one that, when kids come in, i get a kick out of not selling them tickets to an R rated show if they don't have ids. i watch them carefully, more so than regular customers, because i know they'll cause trouble, solely based on the fact that they are teenagers. i love it when i catch kids theater hopping, because it's so much fun to throw them out. i've come to almost relish their curses that are just loud enough to be heard, laughing at them with the other supervisors as they slink out of the building. hell, there have been times when i've stopped kids randomly, hoping they don't have tickets, just so i can throw them out and liven up a boring night. in short, i am the out of touch, uncool movie worker that every teenager hates, but loves to bother. when did this happen? how did i switch sides so abruptly? is it a natural progression? would anyone, placed in the same circumstances, act the same? or am i just a jackass, who picks on kids for fun? and believe me, it is fun. i'm still waiting for one of them to take a swing at me. now that would really be awesome.

on a separate note, i have this long til i can go back to tulane.

i hate cold

so it's supposed to snow tonight or today or something, but it looks like it's not going to. it's just going to stay really cold, with rain, maybe sleet. right now it's probably 33 degrees out, water dripping everywhere, gray, depressing, just plain yucky. this is why i chose a college on the gulf coast. my plan was perfect. i would leave here at the end of the summer, get down there after the worst of the heat was over, spend my time down there in the nice weather, come back for christmas when it's all pretty with snow here, and leave again before the depressingness of january and february hit. now thanks to katrina i'm stuck here, in the cold, with nothing to do today. the only nice thing is the fact that i've built myself a fire, so the house is starting to warm up, plus i get to burn things. i mean, what? i'm not a pyro. then tomorrow i'm scheduled to work about 10-12 hours, the same on thursday, so i'll have something like 30 hours or so of work in a couple days. hard to get bored working those kinds of hours.

music

so i love the postal service now. or at least their song Such Great Heights. it's on a mix cd i got for my birthday (which i love, by the way. someone knows me very well), and i started listening to it tonight as i was driving home from a movie. and then i couldn't stop listening to it. i just keep hitting repeat over and over. i dunno, maybe i'm just insane

memories

for some reason tonight i started thinking about memory. specifically, why some people are better than others. see, most people think i have a good memory, and maybe i do. it isn't quite photographic, but in some ways it can be pretty damn close. some things i never remember- math formulae, conjugations of spanish verbs, faces. but others i never forget. give me a book to read, one that i actually enjoy and am not just reading for a class or something, and after i finish, i will be able to tell you everything that happens, all the little scenes, almost word for word. anything with history, i learn it once, it never leaves me. if you know me well, you know that i tend to be good at games like trivial pursuit or jeopardy. my brain is crammed with millions of obscure facts, like that Abraham Lincoln signed into law the first income tax, and then died on april 15th, tax day. additionally, if i try, i can remember entire events that happen to me. it's kind of fun, seeing someone for only like the second time, months after i first met them, and knowing exactly what they were wearing, what they ate, said, etc. but i digress. what i was thinking about tonight was not how good my memory is, but why it is. no one really knows how memory works, but it's becoming more apparent that we probably remember nearly everything we ever learn. basically, if we concentrate on something enough to move it past simple short term memory, we know it forever. it's lodged somewhere in our brain until we die. which, as i see it, means that it is simply a matter of finding this information. i think people with good memories actually don't have that much better a memory than anyone else- it is just that they can, for whatever reason, find where they store memories better. my mental filing system, in contrast to most of my physical life, is just a lot more organized than everybody else.

also tonight, i took a personality profile test, just for fun. it was on one of those online matchmaking services. but when i finished the test, they said that they couldn't find a match for me, that i didn't fit any of their profiles well enough. so now i wonder if that's a good thing or not.

god this sucks

so i've decided i hate having a blog. not because i don't like it, or it's too much work or anything, but because it shows me how pathetic my life is. i've sat down so often lately to post something, only to find i had nothing relevant to talk about. the fact is, loveland sucks. there is nothing to do here. apart from work and occasionally hanging out at jim's, i've got nothing. i'm exaggerating a little, but not much. if this was during the summer, i'd have more to do, but as everyone i know is in school now, most of them at least an hour or two away, if not in another state, i don't have anyone to do anything with. all of this just serves to make me miss tulane more. i'm not saying there'd be something exciting to do every second there, but living close to all my friends there, at least we could hang out and watch jeopardy or something. i'm a simple man, just give me a couple good friends and i'll be fine. my feelings on this might be magnified a bit right now, both because jaya just left and because tulane finally said when we get to go back. january 17th, i'll be home. that's amazingly good news, but right now it just seems too far away.

ehhh, this mood should change soon. i'll find something to do with my life til january. i'm not looking for sympathy (ok, maybe a little), just talking to myself here.