i love holidays

and i love having today (friday) and monday off from school. i don't have too much work, so i'll probably spend this weekend relaxing, cuz i never do that regularly. my only regret about this weekend is that i'm not alone. both mike and jared have left, and for while ryan was thinking about going home too. i really wanted that. i love having a room, suite, whatever, to myself. i had it last thanksgiving when everyone, and i mean everyone, on my floor left except me. it was the greatest feeling ever. don't get me wrong, i like people. normally i'd rather hang out with others. but everyonce in a while it's nice to be alone. not have to worry about other people, just do whatever. granted, my routine probably won't change at all, but it's the principle of the thing. and i know this weekend most of the time it'll be like i'm alone, cuz ryan'll be off studying or doing b-frat stuff. but it's not the same. when i know no one will be coming back and i can lie naked on my bed watching tv cuz it's too hot to move, that's when life is good. people just get in the way of a good time sometimes.

procrastination and other activities

there are exactly 13 days of classes left in this semester. in that time, i will have 5 papers, one group project, and one other large project, as well as all of my finals. i should be doing work on some of that, it'd probably be smart to get what i can out of the way as soon as possible. instead, i'm watching the masters and organizing my favorite links. i'm just that awesome. anyway, three weeks of classes, less than a month total, and then i'm back home. it's not news, but i can't wait. really what i'm looking forward to is not having to think. this whole semester, even during spring break or mardi gras, there was still part of my mind thinking about school or relationships or something. i just need to turn my brain off completely. no thinking at all. get up in the morning, maybe eat some cereal, hang out watching movies or playing games all day, and that's it. nothing more.

i've notice my posts kind of suck lately. they're really boring, unless i'm drunk when i write them. like the last one, i really have no memory of doing that. so maybe i should just be drunk all the time. it'd be more entertaining for you guys at least.

i'm drunk

and im watving that 70s shwo. all is good

damn the man

or in case, the mom. my mom. she sucks. she managed to worry me slightly about housing next year, which no one else has been able to do. now, i'm not really that worried, but she did bring up a couple good points. the whole situation is pretty much decided by now, i'm gonna be moving off campus with mike. jared has other friends in aron that he's going to room with, and ryan's going abroad for a semester, so they're not coming with us. not that either of them were incredibly enthusiastic to begin with. so it'll be mike and me. which is great, of the three, he's the one i get along best with (not by much, but enough). we're really a lot alike, which is good in that we won't annoy each other, but bad in that neither of us will set a good example about schoolwork for the other. so there's a good chance nothing will get done next year. oh well, such is the price you pay. so now we have to find somewhere to live. i'm not worried about actually finding a place, there's a lot out there. the only problem is finding somewhere cheap. most places are looking to be about $600 a month each, or more. that's not an insane price, but my mom didn't really like hearing it, which makes me slightly worried. i know i'll figure it all out, but she was talking about having to get more than one job, and all these extra costs that i'll need to factor in. so now of course i'm thinking about it. i mean, i'm pretty positive that i'll be able to make enough, but it might happen that i have enough to cover rent, and that's about it. i'd like to be able to go out sometimes, or have a little money to spend. i suppose i'll get another job this summer, working at walmart or something (hate the place, but they pay pretty good). then if i don't go out much this summer, don't buy tons of movies again, i'll have a decent amount for next fall. and then i'll probably work in the polisci department again during the day between classes, and find something else for the evenings. i suppose i could get mike to hire me at the doughbowl, but his hours are a little crazy. but he pulls down bank there, so i guess it's a trade off. really, i'd like to find a restaurant or maybe somewhere like blockbuster, but i don't know if that'd pay enough. ehhhh, i'll figure it out. or go into massive debt, drop out of school, and spend the next ten years living in my parents basement, working at the theater. now that'd be fun.

bored

i'm lying in my bed, bored out of my mind on sunday afternoon. i'm tired, but i can't fall asleep, so i guess i'll post, since i haven't done it in a bit.
i feel as though i should be doing work, but i really don't have anything i need to do. such is the life of a underachieving philosophy major. i almost wish i did have something to do, a paper to write or something. actually, what i really wish is that i was done with school. i have barely more than a month left, and i can't take it. i can't wait to get back home, with no school, no grades, nothing to worry about except going to work on time. lots of friends around to hang out with, the ability to get around to different places (aka a car), my own bed, i miss it all. particularly the bed part. my room at home is a cave. seriously. i'm in the back corner of the basement, with a tiny little window that i cover up, so when i don't have lights on, it's pitch dark. truly, if i don't look at a clock, i can't tell what time it is. there have been days where i sleep right through the sunlight, and get up when it's night again. it's heaven. it's not good for my social life or something, but i could spend all day in there, never leaving my bed.

archie is not fucking mr. weatherbee

that has nothing to do with my post, i just thought it was a funny line from chasing amy. i guess then it does affect this post, inasmuch as i just watched that movie and it got me in the thinking mood. or perhaps it was the six-pack of rolling rock. either way, the path my wandering mind chose to follow is that of my classes. specifically, my inability to stay awake for them. it's becoming more and more of a rarity for me to not doze off, let along flat out sleep, in the midst of a lecture. normally, i would attribute this to a lack of sleep, insomnia if you will, but that's not the case. i stay awake fine on weekends, days when i don't have class, and more often than not, i get very little sleep the night before such days, as i'm out drinking, partying, etc. until often times ungodly times of the night. conversely, even if i get a good night's sleep the day before i have class, it does me no good in staying awake for said class. case in point, last night i was in bed and asleep by 12:30, giving me almost nine hours of sleep (which is a lot, considering i usually subsist on around six, if i'm lucky). i woke up this morning before my alarm went off (a rare occurence lately) feeling refreshed and ready for anything. i really felt better than i had in weeks, and was sure that the day would go great, based on the morning. yet there i was, less than an hour later, nodding off in my first class. and it just went downhill from there. it doesn't matter if i've eaten, haven't eaten, took a nap or not, hell, it doesn't even matter if i'm taking a test, i'll fall asleep. i know that there isn't a medical problem to blame, because frankly i don't think there is. it's not as though i can't stay awake, as i do it all the time when i'm not in class. it's just as soon as i enter the classroom, i can't keep my eyes open. really, i think the problem is simply that i'm bored. i know college is supposed to be the time that you can start taking the classes you want, learn what you want to learn, all that shit, but it's not happening with me. i did all the AP classes, got the extra credits, supposidly got all my requirements out of the way last year so i could concentrate on my major (which is supposed to be something i love or whatever), but i still feel like i'm being forced into classes. i have a geology class that i somewhat chose, in that i needed a lab science and figured that since my mom's a geologist i probably knew something going in and it'd be easy. and you know what? it is. too easy. sure, there's crap that i don't know about the chemical makeup of rocks and stuff, but the big stuff, i know already. what i'm getting in class seems to me like stuff you should get in about 5th grade. which means i'm absolutely bored out of my mind. apart from geology, i've got two philosophy courses, supposidly for my major. it seems to me like everyone else loves their major, that it's something they want to know and will use in their life. me, i'm doing it cuz it's easy. seriously, i flipped through the book that tulane had with all the majors and realized that i already had about a third of the major requirements done for philosophy, and, as i had no other real prospects, decided to go with it. now i'm stuck. it's not that i terribly hate it- my history of philosophy class can be interesting at times, but i see it as, i only need 4 or 5 more classes after this semester to finish, just stick with it and get that degree. i could care less what i use it for, cuz everyone knows a philosophy degree is shit. it does you know good in the real world. but hey, i guess i'll have something to show for my four year, right? and then there's my political science class. if you ask anyone who knew me growing up, this is what they'd probably guess i would major in. i truly love politics. i got hooked early on, and haven't given it up yet. but this class sucks. it's interesting, in it's way, but it's too easy. everything we talk about, i learned long ago, either from history classes or by actually helping with campaigns, following my mom to school board meetings, that sort of thing. i'm not even gonna talk about my art class, cuz that's just bullshit. i guess what i'm trying to say with all my rambling is that i don't need college. i'm here because i've been conditioned by society to think it's a good thing. and for most people, it is. but for me, no. i will learn stuff, true, but nothing that i really need. i'm smart, smarter than a lot of people, probably smarter than most people. i retain information like no one i've ever met. i have a near perfect memory that lets me read a book once and then be able to tell you the exact plot, with all the little details, often times almost word for word. i've got a huge vocabulary, larger than many people twice my age. i've got a reserve of trivial facts that most jeopardy contestants would love to have. i routinely test at genius level or higher on IQ tests. i love to learn, simply to know. there, perhaps, is my problem. college, while less so than high school or earlier, is still aimed at teaching students to pass tests. we're given a path when we enter, our "major", and everything we do after that is aimed at making us an expert in that, and only that. but that's not who i am. i don't want to know everything there is to know about philosophy, or political science, or microbiology. at least, not yet. right now, i want to know something about everything. i want to be able to philosophize about socrates and kant, to analyze the election of lincoln and the impact on the nation, to trace the rise of the nazi state in germany and the resulting world war, to talk about the evolution debate, to blow a vase out of glass. i want to know. i realize eventually that i'll have to settle down, pick a career, but not now. i don't want a degree from college. i want to take interesting classes, not worrying about if they fit my major. i want to leave when i'm ready, not when i've got my degree. and when i do leave, i'm almost certain i won't know what to do. i'll bounce around for a bit, travel some, do whatever. i'm going to do what i want, what's fun, not what's going to make me famous or rich, but what is interesting. one of my oldest fantasies is to join the CIA. i didn't decide this as most kids who want this probably do, from watching bond or something. i've never really had a feeling one way or another about being a secret agent. it'd be cool, no doubt, but that's not why i want to be in the CIA. really, i want to be in it because of their motto: the truth shall set you free. that's all i want. the truth. information. i want to know it all. i don't care if i test badly, do badly in the eyes of society because i don't do the homework or whatever. all i want is to know.

i'm fairly certain there's a medical condition/disease/whatever in which the person afflicted sees things out of the corner of their eyes that aren't there. if there is no such condition, i'm inventing it now. i have it. i'll call it, um, dan's condition. or optomiragia if you want to get technical. it's not a bad thing, just weird. every so often, when i'm reading or watching tv or doing whatever, but concentrating on something in front of me, i think i see stuff in the corners of my eyes. like, a mouse run across the room, or a bug crawling up my arm or something. i don't actually see the stuff, just a general sense of movement. probably it's just the sun reflecting off windows and stuff like that, but i like feeling special and am making it a disease just for fun.
also, i'm much cooler than you, cuz i just downloaded a program that makes my background basically a realtime picture of the earth from space. it updates every minute, so essentially if i were in space and looked out the window, i would see the same thing that's on my computer. i rock.


this is the one and only time i'm going to address this in any way. what happened, happened. i'm not going to analyze it or worry about it. it's done, and things seem to be going ok. so that's it. (those of you who know what i'm talking about, good for you. if you don't, ask, and i might tell you.)