let's get personal

when i started doing this, i had trouble deciding how personal i should be when posting. mainly i've kept it fairly light, not going to deep into how i'm feeling and stuff, or writing about much that could be considered embarrassing. well, today, i change that. it shouldn't be a big deal, it's not like anyone i know reads this thing anyway. and what i'm gonna write about isn't that bad, most of you will probably just laugh, possibly cry, be disturbed, or bored, or whatever.
so here it is, the big personal secret- i am a virgin. that's right, i still have my V card, i have not yet lost my cherry, and various other cliches. normally i wouldn't really care, but i was looking at classes for next year, and i realized i have less than a month left of school. i'm almost a quarter of the way done with my college career (undergrad at least), a time when we are supposed to be fucking like bunnies, hooking up frat parties, making out with random girls at bars, that sort of thing. and here i am, i can count on one finger the number of girls i've kissed. ok, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. but the point stands- in less than six months, i will be a 20 year old virgin. disgusting, ain't it?
i know exactly how i got here too. see, middle school and the first couple of years of high school, the time when people are starting to discover the opposite sex, go on dates, play spin the bottle, whatever the kids do nowadays, i was a bit of a social outcast. i mean, it wasn't like i was hiding in the bathroom, never talking to anyone, but i wasn't a casanova either. i didn't go to parties, didn't hang out with many people outside of a small group of friends. because of this, when i started to move away from my outcast status, and hang out with more people, i.e. girls, i always was afraid i'd screw it up. and so i wouldn't do anything, cuz i didn't have enough experience. and then i'd be even more inexperienced. and that'd lead to me being even more nervous, and so on. a vicious cycle it was, even if it was pretty much all in my mind. because it really was in my head, just me being stupid. that didn't diminish it's effectiveness though.
anyway, so that's it, that's my story. i don't really know the point of all this, or why i did it. mainly i guess i just wanted to complain a little.